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So For those of you who dont know me. My name is Ryan and im a long term sufferer of depression.

A few months ago I was fighting with my mental health as I always have. But I was struggling more than normal, when I lost a home, a relationship and a job in the space of a few very short weeks.

This sent me spiralling and I wasn't coping well. I turned to forms of self harm. Never anything physical, bothing so obvious. But i stopped eating. , stopped showering, stopped doing good things for myself. Really neglecting my own health and falling deeper into depression. I was feeling suicidal and crying to my mum every day and she sent me a link to someone's tiktok and it was an introduction video to man down.

I watched it and after some hesitation proceeded to find out where my closest meeting point was and when the next meeting was.

Fast forward a week and im stood outside my first meeting. Im desperate and willing to try anything. But in that moment I was about to turn around and walk away, due to my own internal battle., when another member came out and asked me. Are you looking for man down? I replied yes and he told me where to go. In i went. Early, because I struggle with social anxiety and was hoping to be in before anyone else.

I was greeted warmly by one of the facilitators who shook my hand and welcomed me. When he thanked me for walking through the door I broke down, Unable to control myself, this man didnt even blink; he embraced me like I was a long time friend he hadn't seen for a long time. 

Once id calmed down he offered me a drink and we began to have a chat. Once the meeting started I listened for a while, taking in everybody's stories and comparing/relating where I could. 

I finally built up the courage to speak and I shared some very deep and personal things with people who were strangers.

Without any judgment they offered me good advice and suggestions. They even had some questions that made me think more about myself. But most importantly I FELT LISTENED TO. I felt like these complete strangers were invested.in every word I was saying. And it never felt better to get that off my chest. I now attend every fortnite and couldnt not imagine my life with out MAN DOWN and our group. 

Now im not saying man down has fixed all my problems. Because thats not what's its there for. But has it changed my life? Definetly! My mental health is still very up and down but after our meetings the relief i feel being able to talk about how im feeling is more freeing than I can put into words.

To any men struggling with mental health. Please take from some who bottled up his problems his whole life then lashed out at those who couldnt deserve it any less.

 My attitude was that I always felt like other people have worse problems than me. And the truth is. They do. But that doesn't mean that your problems aren't important to you. 

So if your feeling low and feel like nobody cares. Please find your nearest man down meeting and show up. Because WE CARE no matter what your going through no matter how big or small it may be. We do care. And we will listen. Men's mental health matters.